DISCUSSION: Beyond the gender binary

DISCUSSION: Beyond the gender binary

This week is Non-binary Awareness Week! This is a time to bring visibility to our wonderful siblings who don’t identify in the male-female gender binary.

Non-binary identities have long existed throughout history and some of the most influential people, like Sam Smith and Amandla Stenberg are non-binary.

Our society, culture, and language often reinforce the idea of two genders, but our diverse community on Prism is well aware that ALL identities are equally valid and important!

To our NB community on Prism, we’re starting a discussion for you to share your story and experience of identifying as non-binary. Use these questions as a guide to get started!

How did you realize you are non-binary?

What experiences have you had with your identity, like your name, pronouns, label, and appearance?

What advice would you give another NB person?

What do you wish others knew about being NB?

How do you feel about the representation of NB people in the media?

Please only share what you are comfortable sharing and make sure to be respectful to all community members! Comment below now! 👇

This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Rekha7890

    How did you realize you are non-binary?
    I have always questioned my gender identity, but never really identified with either female or male, it took a long while to realize that those are not the only 2 options that exists , for as long as I can remember I have felt more comfortable using gender neutral terms to refer to myself.

    What experiences have you had with your identity, like your name, pronouns, label, and appearance?
    My native language does help me a lot as gender neutral pronouns are commonly used to refer to people, and almost all my friends call me like that, even I do the same and I’ve noticed that after a while people around me tend to pick it up and call by gender neutral pronouns more often. I don’t mind being called by feme or male pronouns either, cause I grew up with that. Appearance wise, I am not someone who gives much thought about what I wear or how I look, so it has never really bothered me, but I tend to dress to plain even though I wear feminine clothes, I usually never wear any accessories at all cause I don’t like that feeling.

    What advice would you give another NB person?
    Don’t worry, it’s gonna take a long time for the society to accept NB people, but that doesn’t mean we are not valid. It’s okay to be confused, just be in the present, you’ll figure it out.

    What do you wish others knew about being NB?
    That NB people exists

    How do you feel about the representation of NB people in the media?
    I have never seen anyone like me on media

    1. That’s really cool! What’s your native language?

  2. Fairchild

    How did you realize you are non-binary?
    I realized that I don’t want to be labelled the way my gender was assigned to me at birth, and I often also think that I might like to be male, but not really transgender. I sometimes feel more male, more female, but I don’t want to be labelled strictly as either one of them. I like the fact that non-binary allows me to be both or neither, according to my feeling atm.
    What experiences have you had with your identity, like your name, pronouns, label, and appearance?
    I am currently struggling with the realization of my pronouns in my native language as there’s not so much possibilities that are yet common, and I find it difficult to be one of the first people to act on this. For my appearance, I am thinking of shaving my head 😀 Otherwise I like both, wearing feminine clothes or just very bulky hoodies for example to appear more masculine. In fact I’d really like to appear more androgynous but I find it difficult to act on it.
    What advice would you give another NB person?
    Do what makes you feel comfortable! For example don’t wear certain clothes because you think that others will like you/ your looks that way, but wear clothes that make you feel like yourself!
    What do you wish others knew about being NB?
    Generally that NB exists, so that people don’t identify striclty as male or female at all times or at all.
    How do you feel about the representation of NB people in the media?
    Non-existent? 😀 Like on insta there is representation, but in movies or such not yet, apart from little exceptions like ruby rose maybe.

    1. alas_poor_Yorik

      Shaving your head is an excellent idea! It is very freeing once you’ve done it, and it allows you to try so many interesting hair styles! I totally recommend doing it!

      I also relate a lot to what you said about sometimes feeling more male, sometimes more female. I tend to lean more to the masculine side of things, but there are times when I just feel like I’m existing and that’s that.

      1. Summerstorm108

        Honestly, I figured it out thanks to YouTube. I was watching a video by a trans guy and they were so happy to finally get to do something their dysphoria had kept them from doing, and I started crying because I was so happy for them. (I’m not a crier usually) I realized that part of why I was so happy for them was because my dysphoria had kept (and continues to keep) me from doing the same thing (Which I absolutely love/loved doing). From there it was a bit of a whirlwind – like a hurricane inside my mind. I noticed that I was super uncomfortable with my birth pronouns, name, gendered honorifics, etc. and that I tended to default to gender neutral ones. I’ve been super uncomfortable and awkward about my clothes for years and, looking back, the dysphoria has been present since maybe early elementary school. Thanks to a lot of help from the internet, I managed to figure out a bit more of who I am and, while I don’t have it pinned down exactly, I’m proud to be able to say that I am non binary.

        I’ve had a bit of name dysphoria, but I think I managed to find a name that really makes me happy. My birth pronouns have always made me a bit uncomfortable, but I am sort of ok with them simply because I hear them so often. Clothing remains a bit of a hurdle of mine, but I’ll figure it out.

        To other non binary persons, I would advise not to stress over figuring out a specific term. You’ll figure it out eventually, and until then, just be yourself. Do your best to ignore the doubt and dysphoria, and be your best self. (Also, dressing like your assigned gender is totally fine and doesn’t make you less valid.)

        I wish others knew that being non-binary covers everything other than “male” and “female”. It’s not limited to genderless or androgynous, and we’re not just seeking attention. Also, they/them can be both plural and singular – it doesn’t have to be one or the other.

        I’ve heard of a few books with non binary characters, but I’ve never read any and I’ve never seen an enby in a tv show or movie. There are some nb actors, but people often prefer to talk about whatever romantic drama may be occurring than the fact that there are some cool nb actors. I’d love to see more representation though.

  3. Midnightreader

    How did you realise you are non-binary?
    I actually only started questioning my gender recently. Probably because I spend a lot of time here, on Trevor Space and watching queer YouTube videos.

    What experiences have you had with your identity, like your name, pronouns, label, and appearance?
    I used to think I was a cis female, now I think I’m somewhere girlflux, agender, genderfae or demigirl. I am currently trying out using a new name and both she and they pronouns.

    What advice would you give another enby?
    I’m really bad at giving advice.. but allow yourself to experiment. Wether that’s appearance, names, pronouns, labels, or whatever you’re scared to try because ‘what will people think?’. Don’t be afraid you’re wrong and you’re just cis trying to be special or whatever, because questioning your gender is valid. Being nb is valid. You, are valid.

    What do you wish others knew about being NB?
    That it exists…

    How do you feel about the representation of NB people in the media?
    I actually have never seen an enby in a movie or series… so I hope one day we’ll see more enbies represented in mainstream media.

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